Wisdom_Philosophy_and_Other_Musings_Quotations

"The public is like a piano. You just have to know what keys to poke." - AL CAPP (News summaries 1 Mar 54)

  "The monarchy is so extraordinarily useful. When Britain wins a battle she shouts, "God save the Queen"; when she loses. she votes down the prime minister." - Winston Churchill (Quoted by Anne Edwards Matriarch Morrow 84)

"To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am." - Bernard Baruch (On his 85th birthday, news summaries 20 Aug 55)

"Mr. Holmes thanks you for your letter. At the moment he is in retirement in Sussex, keeping bees." - Anonymous (Reply of a bank at 221B Baker Street, London, at 40 or so letters addressed daily to fictional sleuth Sherlock Holmes, quoted in US News & World Report 19 Jan 87)

"Don't cross this field unless you can do it in 9.9 seconds. The bull can do it in 10." - Anonymous (Sign on bison range above underground quarters of Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory, Bata via IL, pictured in People 18 Nov 85)

"Wanted: Playpen, cot, and highchair. Also two single beds." - Anonymous (Advertisement in Evening Standard, quoted by David Frost and Antony Jay The English Stein & Day 68)

"To hell with you. Offensive letter follows." - Anonymous (Irate citizen's telegram, quoted by Alec Douglas Home, British foreign secretary, Wall Street Journal 11 Jul 62)

"I've suffered from all of the hang-ups known, And none is as bad as the telephone." - Richard Armour (Wall Street Journal 11 Jul 85)

"The New England conscience . . . does not stop you from doing what you shouldn't - it just stops you from enjoying it." - Cleveland Amory (New York 5 May 80)

"A vice president in an advertising agency is a "molehill man" [who] has until 5pm to make [a] molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished even before lunch." - Fred Allen (Treadmill to Oblivion Little, Brown 54)

"I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there." - Fred Allen (letter to Groucho Marx 12 Jun 53)